Ben's Birthday Party

The weekend following Ben's birthday, we had a small family gathering to celebrate. We didn't have a theme or matching hats, but we did have good weather, farm animals and time to walk the trail and spend time outside with our nearest and dearest.

Because everyone's Saturdays are so busy, we decided to have a birthday brunch and serve breakfast food. It made good use of our eggs and was quick and easy to prepare. After presents we had homemade cupcakes, but Ben got the special birthday cake as seen in the picture.

Ben got his first real pair of cowboy boots from PFI, given to him by my parents' neighbors. He was pretty excited about them. He later discovered they are perfect containers for his wooden blocks too.

He received too many wonderful gifts for me to post a picture of him playing with each, but the tricycle above was another big hit. I love that it straps him in for now, but most of it comes apart and will leave him with a stand alone tricycle when he's old enough. We've already taken this one all over the farm and down to the pond and back. It's quite a workout to push that uphill through the weeds.

I hope no one felt left out, but I really enjoyed keeping his birthday a small family affair. The breakfast idea was a big hit, because everyone had the rest of the day to themselves and we had time to recuperate and clean up before going to a church event that evening. i'm still not entirely sure where we are going to put everything he got, though.

A Day Of Loss

What a sad day. Today we attended the funeral of a baby. Gabriel was born into our practically extended, but not by blood, family, very close to our own. The unbelievably strong mother carried the baby for almost 36 weeks. He had passed a few days prior to being born, due to a chromosomal problem called Trisomy 18. He was buried in the family cemetery started by my in-laws at the family farm.

We began discussions about green burials, the industry behind funerals, and our desire to not contribute to environmental degradation in our passing about a year ago. My in-laws began the legal research needed to start a family plot, but we had no idea it would be needed so soon.

As we are preparing for Ben's second surgery, this has truly put things into perspective. We are devastated, scared, and angry about Ben needing surgery yet again. At the same time, we feel so fortunate to have Ben, and so grateful for the technology to solve Ben's problems, when not all parents can say the same.

Our heart goes out to the family in their time of loss. We can't even begin to imagine what they are going through.

Drying Flowers

I love summer and lately I have taken the time to walk the trail through the woods and the field almost every day. Today I made it out for quite the hike and collected wildflowers from the overgrown field. We have them hanging all around our house, across the mantle, and on a string above the dining room and kitchen. It definitely gives our house a different feel.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with all of them. I'd like to try to make some wreaths depending on how they look when dried. I am also pressing some of the flowers beneath several stacks of books across the mantle.

As far as how to dry flowers, there isn't much to it.

:: Hang with rubber bands instead of string, so they stay hung once the stems start dring and shrinking.

:: Don't hang more than 6 or so stems together, so there is plenty of room for air to circulate.

:: Space the hanging bunches so that none are touching (again, for air circulation).

:: Wait.

For pressing,

:: Leave at least an inch around each flower.

:: Press with newspaper or paper towels on both sides of the flowers (at least 4 layers of newspaper)

:: Stack books on top.

:: Wait.

I'm not sure how long it will take. Everything I read said something different and I'm sure it has to do with the humidity. I'd guess in a few weeks I'll have some pretty dry flowers around.

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In family news, my wonderful great-grandmother passed away. She was an amazing woman and I wrote about her here. I am so glad we were able to take Ben to see grandma for her 90th birthday party. She was an amazing woman.

July Updates

We received the call from the doctor this afternoon and Ben STILL has staph infection. We are to continue using the antibacterial topical ointment and take a week off of the oral antibiotics unless his incision gets red or puffy again. All of the stitches came out today and it does look a lot better. Hopefully this will all be over soon.

At the farm, we have been working on the yard all week. We also planted another bed with 25 cent tomato, eggplant and cucumber plants from Wheeler's gardens. They are looking pretty puny but will hopefully take off in the next few days. We are even seeing a few green tomatoes here and there! We have harvested lettuce a couple more times, but I think it's too hot and those plants are done. We have also harvested a bowl of snow peas which went very well with this Thai chicken recipe.

The chickens are getting bigger and bigger and I can't wait until we get some eggs! Our dog Sawyer managed to kill one and we still aren't sure why the chicken wandered into the fenced backyard. Josh chalks it up to survival of the fittest. It's tough to count the chickens, but we have close to 32 chickens and 4 ducks. We still aren't sure on the rooster to hen ratio just yet. We're going to start culling the extra roos (or at least discussions of) next week.

I am still working on making more dryer balls (possibly stocking stuffers this Christmas) and sewing diapers and covers. The rag rug fell apart after a couple of rounds in the laundry. I'm working on remaking it but I haven't got very far.

Now that Ben has completed the first hurdle of the healing process, he is experiencing a growth spurt that has led me to fill two boxes of clothes he has grown out of. I love the Cardinal's hat and but the sunglasses didn't last very long.

Father's Day

Today was Josh's first father's day! We've had a bit of a hectic father's day today. Last Monday we hooked up the ice maker to the fridge and we had a kitchen flood by the next day. The floor is terribly warped and will need to be replaced, along with a significant portion of the sub floor. From that time to now we've had many more leaks, every time we push the fridge back into its place. The connection under the sink has also started to leak and every day Josh has tried a new solution with fixing the water problems.

Through all of this, we have had to keep our water turned off almost all of that time. We have showered at my in-laws one day and turned the water on for very short amounts of time to get in a shower with the sink dripping for that time. We've also become very behind on laundry and dishes.

My brother-in-law Joe, baby Sam, and Josh holding Ben:


He worked all morning on trying to fix the plumbing to no avail. We abandoned our mess for a surprise father's day outing. We joined Josh's sister and her family and my in-laws for a Springfield Cardinal's baseball game. This was Ben's first game, and my first time at the Springfield Cardinal's stadium. The first part of the game went well. Ben was hot and sweaty but contents. Poppy bought him a Cardinal's baseball cap and he looked adorable.


My nephew was far too excited to sit and watch the game, so my mother-in-law walked him around to the play area. Around the 5th inning, she was hit in the head by a foul ball! She was very shook up but didn't pass out and said she felt sore but ok.


We decided as a family to all go home, and Josh returned to his plumbing trials. Things are looking better and we will hopefully have water later tonight.

Josh isn't the biggest fan of baseball or plumbing, so I think I owe him a make-up father's day.

Birthday

Today I turn 27. I think about birthdays a little differently after having a baby. I think my mom should get at least half the gifts I do. Josh, Ben and I went to the I-44 Swap Meet and then to the Dickerson Park Zoo.

The swap meet was pretty weak today. It's been really hit-or-miss the past few years and I'm not sure we'll be going back for quite a while. You pay $2 to park and it's similar to visiting several dozen yard sales all in one place. Sometimes people sell fresh produce, plants and live animals. Not today, however. I take that back, one guy was selling produce that still had the stickers from the grocery store - not sure what was up with that. We did take home one treasure, a Michaelangelo's David head for $8. We have a modest collection of heads on our living room bookshelf and we haven't made an addition for quite a while. David's eyes are really creepy, but he'll be far enough away I won't notice soon enough.

The zoo was fun but packed. We had a hard time negotiating the paths with the number of people so we didn't make it through the whole park, but I'm sure we will next time.

My parents came over in the afternoon and we took a walk through the woods hunting for wild blackberries. We found about 2 cups worth yesterday and another 2 cups today, give or take. Josh found a great recipe for making fresh blackberry soda and we drank that with dinner last night and tonight. I am hoping he will write a "guest" blog entry about it soon! The hardest part of blackberry hunting was keeping Josh (and myself) from eating all of them before we made it back into the house. The vast majority of our berries are not yet ripe, so we are planning on having a summer full of foraging. Gooseberries are also up for consideration but we still need to learn a little more...


Josh cooked a fantastic dinner - chicken stuffed with prosciutto and fresh basil from the garden, spicy green beans, asparagus, salad and rolls. Eating that great meal outside with the blackberry soda made for such a great birthday!

First Anniversary

Today is Josh and my first anniversary. A year ago today we would have never imagined that we would be living on a farm with chickens, ducks and donkeys and have a baby.

Josh and I have known one another since we were about 7 years old. We grew up only a few miles from one another and even rode the same school bus. We took piano lessons from the same lady, we had many of the same teachers, and our little sisters were in the same Girl Scout troop. We never dated in high school, but we were debate partners and had the same social circle throughout most of our lives. In college we continued to hang out on weekends and we even attended concerts together.

We kept in touch online and went through many major milestones while living in separate towns and states. We didn't begin dating until more than 15 years after we first met. We picked the most inconvenient time to progress our relationship. Josh lived in Phoenix and I lived in Springfield. After I visited Arizona a couple of times, Josh found a job here and moved back home. His mom couldn't have been happier (and neither could I). He proposed that fall and we were married the following year.

When he lived in Phoenix it seemed as if time were standing still. He was a million miles away so I focused on cycling and teaching. When he moved here everything sped up dramatically. It seemed like only a few moments passed between his move, engagement, marriage, pregnancy, moving, baby, farming, surgery, today...

Things are slowing down now, I hope. We have agreed to cap our livestock purchases for the year and focus on the garden and improving what we have before we buy any more. We do not plan on doing any traveling this summer (other than Josh for work). I have become such a homebody now that we live on the farm. I love our home and land and feel very content with staying in, eating home-cooked meals and spending time with our family. Although gas expenses are high, we still spend so much less than when we lived in the middle of town.

We are both so pleased with our lifestyle choices and I can tell that choosing to live our simple, rural life has brought us both so much closer together.

Here's to another great year!
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I'm not sure if I already posted this picture, but lately Ben is spending a lot of time chewing on his thumb, sometimes while holding his blanket or a burp rag. He is also spending a lot of time wearing only a diaper. His drooling and spitting up was causing us to go through so many outfits a day, it's just easier to keep him in a diaper and wipe him down, then put clothes on if we go somewhere or for bedtime.


We spent over four hours yesterday in urgent care because Ben's incision has become infected. It is red and puffy and started collecting puss in places (gross, I know). They drew a ton of blood, then sent it off for lab work. After more than an hour of waiting for the results, the doctor returned and said they didn't draw enough blood and had to do it again. So after another hour and a half, they decided to put him on 10 days of oral antibiotics. We will have a doctor's appointment this week, next week and the following week for his post-surgical check-ups and his 4 month appointment. Ben now weighs 12 lbs. 12 oz. After 24 hours on antibiotics, the incision is already looking better.

Josh and Ben entertained me during the looooong wait.

First Mother's Day

This has been a year of firsts for our family, and today was my first mother's day. I wrote a note to my mom about how grateful I am for all she has done for me, which I am only beginning to understand at this point in my life.

We also bought grandma books for each of Ben's grandmothers. The books include places for to complete a family tree and memories of their childhood. On the one hand, I felt like I was giving them homework. On the other, I felt a little selfish - because I can't wait to read them myself. I know it will be a while before Ben will be interested in his grandma's favorite movies growing up or her first family vacation, but I can't think of anything I would love more to know about my own grandmothers and great-grandmothers at this point in my life. I'm sure he will feel the same way someday.



At church this morning, (we've been attending Unitarian Universalist as of recently - I'll write about that later), the reverend spoke of appreciation of all women in our lives, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers, and all women who care for and about children. She also mentioned the origins of mother's day being far different from the holiday we celebrate today.

Originally activists with the woman's suffrage and peace movements honored a mother's day, but that is far from the more commercialized version celebrated today. Through conversation today I heard those disagreeing with all women be honored today when some are not mothers. Others said the concept of mother's day leaves too many women hurt, particularly those unable to have children or those who have lost a child.

I am almost certain mother's day isn't going to be removed from the calendar any time soon, so I'm not sure why this can't be a holiday to celebrate women. The reverend mentioned that next year she hopes to delve deeper into the origins of the holiday and the call for peace.

We had my parents over last night for dinner and had dinner at my in-laws today to celebrate the holiday. Josh gave me a family membership to the Dickerson Park Zoo - a perfect gift in my opinion. Not another thing to keep in the house, but twelve months of experiences. So much more valuable to me.

Ben enjoyed his mother's day as well. He rolled over again, for maybe the fourth time total. He wasn't expecting to and was so frightened that he began crying. He is holding his head up so well, smiling all of the time, and is such a big "talker."

These pictures of Ben in the huge high-chair at the table. He joined in the conversation and had a wonderful time at dinner.

And the Rain Came

Growing up in the Ozarks, Josh and I have each seen and survived dozens of tornado warnings. Our houses didn’t blow down and we fought the urge of our parents for us to take shelter in the basement / closet / bathroom. However, all of that changed today. I awoke to my grandfather's call warning us of a tornado headed towards Sparta. Of course I didn’t answer the phone because who calls before eight in the morning? Then my mom called, and then Josh’s parents called, so we decided we should probably take heed and at least get out of bed.

The storm was severe, but not exceptional at first. We sat cautiously in the living room watching the wind blow and the sky turn a bright evil shade of green. Then things seemed to die down and we thought it was mostly over. The tornado warning was through and we let our guard down. All of a sudden the winds picked up at an unbelievable rate and the whole house shook. I heard a huge crash against the house and grabbed the baby and ran to the basement. I had no idea what happened, but I have never felt that level of protective instinct and fear.

Josh joined us and told me a tree hit the roof and part of the chimney blew off. We could see the insulation in the basement contracting and expanding with the changing air pressure in the house. My heart was racing and I didn’t even notice the odor of the forty chickens joining me downstairs. Josh cleared a place on an old dresser for Ben and me to sit and then he went upstairs to assess the damage.

We have a large tulip tree on the side of our house and the top third of the tree flew across our roof and into the front yard. Luckily, it didn’t puncture the roof and it all landed in the front yard. Our chimney cap is still bent and lying in the backyard. Branches are down everywhere and pieces of leaves are stuck to our windows but the house held well.

After I calmed myself down and was convinced Ben and I were safe, we returned upstairs. Soon after, the sun came out and I went outside to assess the damage. We have been without power since eight am, and it is almost midnight as I write this and we’re staying at my parents. I will load the pictures tomorrow.
When we have power again, one of my first priorities is to better organize and prepare our basement. The chickens should be ready to go outside in the next week or two hopefully. We have old banquet chairs in the barn that need to go down. After today I realize even more that seating is incredibly important. We’ve already got several gallons of water in the basement. I looked at Target today for a crank powered radio to no avail. We also desperately need new flashlights. I’m sure I’ll come up with several other things that should go downstairs too.

This afternoon I showered at my parents and Ben and I went to the Mother’s Day Tea at The Summit (where I teach). The fathers volunteered and served tea and dessert, the students sang several songs, and the parents gave each teacher a nice gift. It was a relaxing afternoon after such a stressful morning. I am very concerned about our power situation. Our chicks are used to having heat lights on still, and I don’t expect them all to survive the night. I am also worried about my fifty bags of breastmilk in the deep freeze and refrigerator freezer. Above all, I am so grateful we are all safe and our house is fine.

I labeled today's blog as family and firsts, because this was Ben's first tornado warning and this will be his first night to spend away from home. Family because today changed how I view my own.

Ben and daddy relaxing:

Cloth Napkins and Baby Comparing

I love using cloth napkins. Josh and I have for as long as we've been together and we go through very few paper towels thanks to the eight cloth napkins I bought two years ago. By this point, they're a little tattered and at least half have disappeared thanks to to dogs, so I bought replacements today at the Help Give Hope garage sale. The sale is on North Kansas Expressway in Springfield, in the Town and Country shopping center. It was dimly lit, unorganized, and somewhat picked over, but I'm sure if you had a lot of time, then you could probably find something you need. It's going on next week too. Click on the link for dates and times. I bought 17 cloth napkins at a dime each:


Ben and I had lunch at the Smoothie Cafe with Karen and coffee with my McGregor friends at the Mudhouse. (The Mud Lounge is temporarily closed due to problems with their liquor license.)

While there, another friend of mine brought her baby, one week younger than Ben. And so it starts... baby comparing. I want so badly to not compare Ben to any other baby, but at the same time it's fun to compare and discuss what we're going through right now. Her son has been sleeping in his crib, in his own room since he was four weeks old. He sleeps 6-8 hours most nights and has a routine and schedule. Wow, I was impressed.

Ben has no kind of schedule. I couldn't tell you how many times he nurses or how many diapers he goes through. I tried to keep track but kept forgetting and usually made it up at the end of the day on my chart. He slept through the night once, in our room. Although I said horrible things about cosleeping before I had Ben, he now sleeps in the bed at least half of the time and in the Pack N Play next to the bed otherwise. We don't really have normal bedtimes or wake-up times and I'm worried my pediatrician is going to recommend we get on a schedule at our two month appointment on Monday.


Although my friend's structure is impressive, it really doesn't fit where we are right now. By the time I go back to work this fall, I'll need to have something a little better figured out. But I can't imagine trying to make Ben eat at certain times or not letting him eat other times. When my friend Katy wrote a post about her child's schedule, or lack thereof, I didn't even consider that anyone with a baby under three months could even consider being on a schedule.


The bottom line is - as long as the kid is healthy and safe, everyone should feel free to parent how they choose and not worry about what they "should" or "should not" be doing. I've got my goals of eventually getting Ben to sleep in his own room, when the time's right for him. In my teaching experience I have worked with about 200 kids, and by the time they are pre-teens, you can't tell whose parents carried them hours each day, let them cry it out in the crib, or ground organic flour for their teething biscuits. It all evens out in the end, and I'm not going to feel bad about anything I'm doing. I'm just going to do what's best for our family and our situation.

Family Dinner

We spent the day at Grammy and Poppi's for Easter dinner! After visiting with family all afternoon, I realized how many more people I have to help me with Ben and spend time with me while Josh is gone during the week. Josh's cousin lives fifteen minutes from Jefferson City, so I can even have company there. I feel like I don't even need help as much as I just need company every now and then, and spending a day with family is a great way for me to remember how much support I really have. It was also great to have so many people wanting to hold the baby all day.

I asked Josh to photograph the day for me, but I only got a couple of pictures because he needed to spend more time cooking than I realized.

Cloud 9 Ranch

Today we celebrated my Great-Great Grandma Elsie's 90th birthday! This was the first time she and his Great-Grandma and Grandpa Dickens and the rest of our family in Sullivan.

Ben and Great-Great-Grandma Elsie



I am so exited we were able to take this five generation picture!



Some of my favorite childhood memories are camping at Cloud 9 Ranch in Caufield, Missouri with my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. My family fished for trout and camped throughout the summer, and the children would fish, swim, ride our bikes around and spend so much quality time with our family. My students can't believe we would fry fish on a Sunday night, chase fireflies, sit around a campfire, listen to people play country music, and my little brother would dance like crazy. I can't imagine not sharing that experience with Ben.



Having a child has caused me to truly reflect on my own childhood and there are so many wonderful moments, such as camping with my grandparents, that I want to make sure Ben has the opportunity to experience.

My mom's side of the family shares such a deep appreciation for nature and the outdoors, and I hope Ben can spend at least as much time as I did hiking, camping, fishing, swimming and enjoying the outdoors of southern Missouri.

Ben and his Great-Grandpa Dickens



My great-grandparents, Silas and Elsie Weida, were the two happiest married people I have ever known. Grandma and Grandpa Weida spent so much time together laughing and joking around. They had traveled the country in their Winnebago, but during my childhood spend most of their summers at Cloud 9 Ranch their grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and numerous friends. My great-grandfather passed away many years ago and it makes me sad my husband and son didn't have the chance to meet him. I believed my great grandparents stayed so happy together because they each married their best friend. From this, I understand the importance of friendship and marriage and look forward to a life as happy as theirs, as I have married my own best friend.

great-grandparents are great

Yesterday Ben met his Great-Grandma Hebbert for the first time. My father’s parents have had a huge influence on my life and I am so grateful Ben was able to meet them both. My grandmother is a former art teacher and has always encouraged us to be creative. When we were little she would roll butcher paper down her long hallway and we would trace around one another and create portraits and murals. Grandma would let us paint with her acrylic paints on canvas and sketch on fancy paper using charcoal pencils or pastels. She wanted us to eat healthy and would get us to eat vegetables by cutting them into different shapes so we could make self-portrait salads. My grandma was known as an eccentric art teacher and artist, she knew everyone had an untapped creative mind, and she regularly encouraged us to explore our own.

Grandpa Hebbert is a more grounded and serious man when compared to his wife. He plays banjo and piano quite well and spends time repairing, collecting and playing instruments. For Christmas one year he gave each of us grandkids a banjo and later, when I graduated from college, he gave me a piano. They are both so important to me. Grandpa and I have also had many conversations about frugality and rural life. Although he seems a bit excessive by today’s standards, he values thrift and discipline like no one I’ve met. He has had virtually no debt throughout his life and still managed to travel and own his own home and other real estate in Bolivar. I admire his sacrifices although I know I cannot possibly maintain his level of penny-pinching. On his coffee table he had a paperweight which read, “The poor get poorer by acting rich, and the rich get richer by acting poor.” He gave me this paperweight and it is one of my favorite reminders of his value of frugality.

I hope I am able to encourage Ben’s creative, artistic, and musical sides in the same way my grandparents encouraged me. I also want him to understand the importance of being responsible with money and why stuff is so much less important than people.

This weekend Ben will have the opportunity to meet his great-grandparents on my mom’s side of the family. He will also see his only great-great grandmother to celebrate her ninetieth birthday. I have plenty of great memories with them as well and I look forward to writing about those this weekend.

family picture

Today Josh and I made our first attempt at getting a decent family picture. My mom came over to take a few pictures. We set everything up in the guest room because it has decent lighting. Ben was not as interested in pictures today, so he was crying the whole time. We ended up with two ok pictures, but Ben still looks a little rough.




Of course, as soon as my mom left Ben stopped crying and he's been calm and sleeping the rest of the day.



We're going to try again next weekend. I think we're also going to plow the garden this coming weekend if we can borrow the tiller from Josh's uncle.

visitors

We had a better night last night but I'm not sure if it's due to the medicine, me going off dairy, or Josh being home to help. Today we had friends and family visit for a big part of the day. I also dropped Josh's camera and broke it. Picture quality will go down because I'm going to use my old camera for a while.

Ben just before I broke the camera





Ben and Grammy

cousins

Last night we had family dinner at Grammy and Poppi's, and all three cousins were together for the first time. Unfortunately, we didn't get a picture with all three of them. However, we have several of the two babies. Sam's two months old and so laid back. Ben held his serious expression all night. We did not intentionally dress them in matching stripes, but it made for cute pictures.





Ben finally lost his umbilical cord yesterday. Here's his new and improved belly.


Josh and I did get slightly more sleep last night than the previous night, but I think we're both still walking zombies.

great-grandpa

Ben's Great-Grandpa Hebbert came to the house today. This was the first time he's seen our house since we moved here last fall. Ben is grandpa's first great-grandchild and he was so excited to see him.

After he left, Josh took a nap and Ben became very crabby. It took me about half an hour to make a sandwich between calming Ben down and trying to do everything one-handed. I finally set Ben down and sat down to eat my lunch when I heard "diaper sounds" as I call them. I got up to change his diaper but took it off too soon and I had my first experience with projectile poo shooting a couple of feet across the living room. I then got to clean off his back, legs and feet, quickly change his diaper, take him to the nursery for a clothing change, get him calmed down again and then start cleaning up the huge mess. I'm still not sure how to get the poo off of the sides of the pack n play. As soon as everything was cleaned up and calmed down, I sat back down to finish my lunch. Apparently, one of the dogs ate my sandwich while I was out of the room.

parents

We cannot thank our parents enough for how much they helped in the first few days. At one point today, I was sitting on the couch with an ice cream cone and had both dads bringing in firewood, one mom was doing laundry and the other doing dishes. They've been great. I just have to remember to not hold back when people offer to help. It's not hard when they distract me with ice cream.