Just as in the first weeks of Ben's life, we have once again been showered with offers of help. And once again I am not sure what to say. I can think back to when I have offered to help others during times of need, and it seems so rarely people followed up on those offers. I'm not sure if it's our nature to believe we can do it all on our own, or if someone wanting to "help" is too nonspecific. Either way, it was hard for me to ask for help during the time of Ben's birth. I was so tired I didn't even know what I needed. I'm trying to better prepare myself for the surgery, but once again I don't know what it will be like and what I will need. And I so appreciate the numerous offers I've already received for help, but I'm not sure what to say other than thanks.
I think I need some advice (help) on how to accept help and know what to ask for.
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Our good friends in Columbia lent us their Jumparoo and Ben couldn't be happier. It's the first time he's shown an interest and delight in something other than people. He likes to be held upright and kick his legs out, and he's so happy to do the same in the Jumparoo. Ben is so tiny we've got two books under it for now so he can kick off. His favorite parts are the bright yellow smiling monkey and sun.
Since the doctor indicated Ben would be "like a newborn" for awhile, I'd suggest making a list of what types of help were the best fit right after you got home - meals? housework? yardwork? running errands? just hanging out to chat and be your hands & feet? Then when people offer generic help, you could say, "Oh, I appreciate that! I have a list - which of these would you like to do?" A calendar might be helpful... a meal calendar (www.carecalendar.org is pretty neat), or a chores calendar or a check-in-on-me calendar. I think people are sincere in wanting to help, and wouldn't mind a little direction.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice Kim! I hadn't heard of the calendar website either. That's pretty cool.
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